


Don't Take Me Up (I'll Just Fall Down Once Again)

by Zetaori



Category: Stargate SG-1
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-08-19
Updated: 2011-08-19
Packaged: 2017-10-22 20:23:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,000
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/242219
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zetaori/pseuds/Zetaori
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Daniel visited Jonas, just to make sure he's okay. <i>Check up on him</i>, Jonas refused to think.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Don't Take Me Up (I'll Just Fall Down Once Again)

**Author's Note:**

> If you want to read/comment on LJ, you can find the story [here](http://zetaori.livejournal.com/25322.html).

"I miss you," Jonas whispered into the emptiness, his lips moving against nothing but thin air. "I know I can't even begin to fathom how much the others must miss you." He sighed and rubbed his tired face. "But that doesn't mean I don't miss you."

Jonas woke up at his desk where he'd fallen asleep over a translation, just to see Daniel looking at him, different without his glasses and uniform, but still so much him that Jonas' pen (Daniel's pen) fell clattering down.

It wasn't the first time, but Jonas had lost count.

"It's good to see you," Jonas said, not knowing whether he meant it.

Daniel smiled, or maybe it was just imagination. There was something different with Daniel's face that made him look like he couldn't smile any more.

Jonas wasn't sure if Daniel was visiting him or his old office. Maybe he wanted him gone. Maybe he came to show that he was okay with it. Maybe Jonas was going crazy.

Jonas had jello for breakfast and felt sick. He slurped down another spoon and smiled at Sam, who told him about her newest breakthrough in their naquadria research. The day stretched endlessly.

"Sometimes I think it's never going to work," he told the empty chair on which Daniel was sitting. "No matter how hard I try."

He heard Daniel's voice, telling him that he was doing the right thing.

"Maybe doing the right thing isn't enough."

Jonas' head hurt, but it always did these days, so he guessed it didn't matter.

This night, Daniel was sitting on the edge of his bed.

"Wake up, Jonas."

Jonas liked Daniel without his glasses. He liked his cream-colored sweater, and he liked how every line of worry had vanished from his face. He just wondered why he never looked happy.

"It's me, Jonas. It's really me."

Jonas sat up and reached around for the bedside lamp. "Don't get me wrong, but you say that every time."

The light illuminated Daniel's deep frown.

"Alright," Jonas sighed. "Is there a reason why you're here?"

Daniel kept completely motionless. It was unnerving. He didn't even need to breathe.

"I guess you didn't come all the way just to help me with my translations," Jonas said. He meant it as a joke, anything to release the tension, but his words petrified and crumbled as soon as they left his mouth.

"You know that I can't do that." The response was automatic, like it had been repeated too many times. Daniel sounded tired.

"Yeah." Jonas blinked against his impending sleep. "So, um." He cleared his throat and straightened up. "What do you need me to do?"

Daniel tilted his head. Jonas had never seen him do that before, but then, he didn't have the chance to get to know him.

"Excuse me?"

"Oh, I figured since you're not allowed to interfere, you're looking for someone to do some kind of job. And since you're already violating rules just by being here, it must be important."

Daniel looked confused, until realization spread over his face. "Oh, of course. No, no, no. It's not something like that."

Jonas could feel himself relax. He noticed he was already preparing to get dressed and run down some corridors.

"Okay. What is it then?"

"I …" Daniel seemed lost for words. Jonas guessed he wasn't used to explaining any more. "I just wanted to see you. See how you're doing."

 _Checking up on him_ , Jonas refused to think.

Daniel seemed to have picked up on that thought, because he was quick to add, "Well, just to make sure you're okay."

Jonas could feel the smile back on his lips. "Oh, don't worry, I'm okay."

It wasn't a lie. Daniel could probably tell if it were a lie. It would make no sense to lie.

"So do you mind if I stay here for a while?"

Jonas laid down, pulling the blanket back over him. Sleep was already tugging at his limbs, and he knew he couldn't resist it much longer. "Sure."

Daniel slid into the bed. Jonas noticed that he was careful not to actually move through him, and he appreciated the effort.

The mattress didn't dip.

"Does it make a difference for you, lying down?" Jonas asked, too drowsy to keep his curiosity in check.

"No. But I like being here."

Jonas wondered if _here_ referred to the facility, this bed, or him. He wondered if he would touch him if he could. He wondered if Daniel would let him. Then, he finally fell asleep.

He knew about Daniel and Jack. He hadn't pried around, never touched those notebooks that were marked private, but it was everywhere around him. He saw it in the way Jack looked at him. He read it in every mission report. God, he even smelled it in his office.

But things had changed.

"It's not your fault. You know that, don't you?"

Jonas shrugged. He's had this conversation a thousand times with himself. This wasn't any different.

"What is?"

Daniel's expansive, hurried gesture was soothingly familiar. "Nothing. Nothing of this is your fault."

Jonas let his head fall against the wall. It hurt, but he just couldn't bring himself to care. "Thanks. You know, thank you. I really appreciate it. But –"

"Jonas."

It was jello again for breakfast. He was sure Sam wanted to say something about it, but then she just shook her head when she thought he wasn't looking. She was giving him the alien bonus for weirdness, and he swallowed another portion.

"Are you okay?"

"Sure." The smile came so easily he almost didn't notice. "Why shouldn't I be?"

She picked at some scrambled eggs. "How are things with Jack?"

Jonas shrugged.

"You know it's not your fault."

"Yeah."

"You have to give yourself a rest."

Jonas nodded.

It was just that Daniel came to him. He suspected he visited the others too, but they never talked about it.

Jonas couldn't sleep, but that didn't mean he didn't dream.


End file.
